How to move abroad with children: tips of expat mums

How to move abroad with children: tips of expat mums

Moving abroad for work is getting ordinary than ever, more and more families choose to make this decision. But if the choice to change life is something desired or an obligatory one, in any case it is a change that must be managed, especially when it involves a family. Moving abroad with children means changing home, environment, friends, leaving known places, changing a routine. It’s a challenging step for adults, and even more for our children, who may not fully understand what will happen to them.

When we moved to London, my son was sixteen months old. We face it together, but he was too small to understand what a big change it was for all our family. But when you are facing such a choice with older children, how can you best cope with it?

In this post you will find practical pre-relocation tips, the result of my personal experience and the contribution of my expat friend, who has already dealt with several moves with her family and her children.

If you want more information on what to do before moving to London with a family, then in this post you will find all the answers.

 

how to move abroad with childre, my son close to the London eye

HOW TO MOVE ABROAD WITH CHILDREN: WHAT TO DO BEFORE DEPARTURE

MAKE RESEARCH OF THE CITY

I had visited London several times before coming to live, but there is a big difference between visiting a city and living in. Get information on the web, read and search for as much information as possible about the city where you want or you will have to move. Make a budget of how much it will cost for you to live in that city based on:

  • rent
  • education – childcare
  • transport

It would be better to visit the city before moving, and when you come, do it with some decisions already made:

  • a selection of areas where you would like to live in (based on what you read and budgeted)
  • verified how access to schools works and consequently evaluate in which area to take home (for example, if it is important to live in the catchment area to access them)
  • rent: choose an area and visit it to have an idea whether it’s safe for a family, look at supermarkets and parks in the area
  • make an appointment with some agencies and start visit some houses, because there is a big difference on what you see on the web and in the reality.

 

DOCUMENTS

If you are not married and have children, it is useful to have a document that identifies mother and father. You might have to travel alone and it is necessary to have in any case. Check the expiration date of both ID and passport.

 

HEALTHCARE

Check on the website of the local health authorities for the documents required for the control of vaccinations (if you have young children). For what concerns us, it was enough to have the authentic print of the ASL to validate the vaccinations already made. However, there are other countries that have different requests or need a translated document.

 

I would add one last thing. Try to understand in which area the other expats of your country live. It does not necessarily mean that in this way you will not integrate, but at the beginning having some face that speaks your own language and with which you also have many habits in common, will make everything lighter. Look for ways to network with other mothers, go to the park, follow courses .. In this post I will tell you some tips to network with other mothers.

 

HOW TO MOVE ABROAD WITH CHILDREN: SOME ADVICE FROM AN EXPAT MUM 

We parents are the first to transmit our anxieties and certainties. If we are ready to face such a choice, remove the specter of anxiety from you, because you will transmit it to your children too.

As I wrote at the beginning of this post, we moved when my children were still small and I did not have to manage their setting and preparing them for breaking certain ties.

So I asked Nadia, expat like me, but for a lot more time, and with many removals and countries where she lived, how better do it for our children.

how to move abroad with children

Here’s what she told me:

I’m Nadia, expat for more than 12 years and expat mom from 8 with two small travelers who follow us around the world! We work for construction companies and we travel for passion but above all for work. At the beginning of our adventure no problem whatsoever. A year here, two there and five from another.

Then our first daughter was born. Even no problem, she is small and the fact of having taken more planes than cars does not change her life!

We arrive in Riyadh (Saudi Arabia), and she is 2 and a half years old. She speaks Italian well, but she does not know anything about English, apart from some little songs. The British nursery begins in a multicultural compound. Her best friends are a Venezuelan and an Italian Iranian whose common language is English. They live in symbiosis for almost 3 years.

We had to go away.

Next destination: Peru. Tragedy. New language, girlfriends lost and a new brother of pat that is born a few months after the arrival. It was very hard I admit it. I have cried a lot, much more for hormones than for difficulties.

I made her strong. Calls with friends, mornings at the park despite the tiredness of sleepless nights with a newborn baby and lots of goodwill! I found groups of English-speaking mothers and immediately we entered a group of expat children. From there everything was easier. Then the beginning of the school and she starts to speak a new language with no difficulties, playdates and sports did the rest.

I admit that my daughter has great adaptability and is also very outgoing, but moving every few years is very hard now. In fact, when everything went well and she (them, because in the meantime the baby grew up and the park had his gang), we moved again. Cry and despair volume 55366473.

What to do? Embrace her, tell her that everything would be fine, that her friends have often heard and that we will be able to see again, that we will have found a beautiful school with many new people to meet and new adventures to do together. For now we are here for 8 months and everything is going well, still regrets her friends and her Peruvian life, but has new friends here and has fun.

The little one? Sometimes he asks me when we will return to Peru, but they identify their home with Sardinia, fortunately! We have our firm points there. Friends, little cousins, family. They know that they will be there forever, and every time we come back it is as if they never left. I have no big advice, I often have doubts, but one thing is certain. Be their firm point. Let them understand that you are there and you will help them in everything. They will always have you by their side with a smile and a hug. Expat is not an easy life, let alone their children. But it is a gift that you are doing so do it with your heart and with all the strength you have!

 

What did I tell you? Nadia, who has a fantastic blog, Abaya and Heals, where she tells the story with irony and brings us with her in all the countries where she lived, transmits energy and positivity. Did not you suddenly want to leave? You can also find her on Instagram!

 

I hope this post will help you to deal with a moving. I am an expat but until now, despite the difficulties, the benefits of this life have always had a positive sign. Should the balance change, we will be the first to consider a return.

See you soon!

Francesca

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19 Comments

  1. October 26, 2018 / 17:09

    Consigli molto utili! Io in realtà sto ancora meditando se voglio davvero fare un’esperienza lavorativa all’estero, con due bimbi piccoli non è facile..staremo a vedere…

    • mumwhatelse
      Author
      October 26, 2018 / 19:57

      E dove vorresti andare Silvia? Avete già una città del cuore?

  2. October 30, 2018 / 17:07

    Io sono all’estero ora, per sei mesi, e sono partita anche io dopo aver già visto la città. Diciamo che ho fatto però scelte diverse da quella di un trasferimento definitivo.. un passo per volta

  3. October 30, 2018 / 21:03

    Io sono stata una figlia expat per un breve periodo, ero già grande ed ho sentito moltissimo il divario di cultura e mentalità ma questo mi ha permesso di crescere con una mentalità molto più aperta rispetto alle mie coetanee!

    • mumwhatelse
      Author
      November 2, 2018 / 15:39

      oh che bella questa testimonianza, sono felice di leggerti! 🙂

  4. November 7, 2018 / 09:45

    Excellent tips! Thanks for sharing. Your blog is very helpful for family with kids! Thanks very much

    • mumwhatelse
      Author
      November 7, 2018 / 22:09

      Thank you!!

  5. November 7, 2018 / 09:54

    I’ve noticed that as you say most of times kids are not as anxious as their parents and tend to become as they perceive their fears. For kids, home is where mum and dad are, and if they feel and behave like nothing bad can happen, they feel it too. The world is so big, it’s healthy for kids to understand there are thousands hectares of places they can be happy in.

    • mumwhatelse
      Author
      November 7, 2018 / 22:03

      You said a true thing: home is where heart is and where mum and dad are. Thank you!!!

  6. November 7, 2018 / 11:53

    I really like your blog. I have always wondered what it is like to go to live away from home in a foreign country. It’s nice to read your adventures. Congratulations you are a very smart woman!

    • mumwhatelse
      Author
      November 7, 2018 / 18:28

      Oh thank you very much! 🙂

  7. November 7, 2018 / 19:42

    Very interesting, thank you. My grandaughter was born in Berlin, but now her parents are thinking to move elsewhere (Barcelona? Copenhagen?). She is now 4 yrs old, and I hope she’ll have a great adaptability, in case. Anyway she is lucky about a point: she is multilingual (English, German, Italian and a bit of Mandarin). So, learning a new language won’t be too hard for her.

    • mumwhatelse
      Author
      November 7, 2018 / 21:58

      She is very lucky indeed, growing up multilingual is a great gift! Between Barcelona and Copenhagen… it’s an hard choice!!!

  8. November 8, 2018 / 09:34

    I enjoyed reading your advice and the interview. I agree with one concept in particular, our children are able to adapt better than the adults. Growing up in a multicultural environment is a big luck for them!

    • mumwhatelse
      Author
      November 8, 2018 / 21:50

      Yes I think so. Thank you Anna!

  9. November 10, 2018 / 23:47

    Grazie per gli ottimi consigli e per la tua esperienza. Da quando sono mamma le responsabilità sono ovviamente aumentate e così leggo volentieri chi ha avuto il coraggio di cambiare e inseguire, anche rischiando, i proprio sogni.
    I bambini hanno una capacità straordinaria di adattamento ma un gran merito va anche a voi, genitori, che ricreate una serenità e un equilibrio. 😉

    • mumwhatelse
      Author
      November 11, 2018 / 15:26

      Grazie mille Roberta, non è facile trovare l’equilibrio e trasmetterlo ma cerchiamo di fare del nostro meglio come qualsiasi altro genitore 🙂

  10. November 13, 2018 / 16:12

    Complimenti per il grande coraggio. Una scelta di vita che sta offrendo grosse opportunità per il futuro dei vostri figli.

    • mumwhatelse
      Author
      November 14, 2018 / 08:18

      Grazie Monica, sicuramente si c’è tanto coraggio ma c’è anche tanta soddisfazione 🙂

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