This post was ready to be posted and now I am tweaking it, after reading a letter, an article about a man and his just dead wife for a cancer. My previous post (it seems to me ridiculous now…) was about my incapacity to be proactive in managing my daily routine as a mum of two, with a full to-do list filled by anyone else but me. My wishlist for Christmas should have been a self commitment for the next year towards me, as a woman, not only a mum.
The post was a reflection on the almost past 2016, I believe the most challenging year for me so far, when we moved to London and when our family grew to 4 member. I couldn’t ask more than these, but I could, I should change the perspective.
I am a happy mum of two kids and I am obviously trying to do my best every day, every time. But there are some days (actually most of the days) when I think how do others mums do? I mean, I try to plan everything, even we do have a weekly menu, helping myself with shopping online, a cleaner for a couple of hours per week (the minimum necessary), Andrea that is going to a nursery three days a week and I am feeling overwhelmed by to-dos pending on me. I forgot a lot of things, some important like the visit for me, and I am feeling fully booked. The good deal of the day is setting up the crew (me, baby Leonardo and Andrea) and go out without screaming (without make-up ever).
Does a mum know a mind relax? I don’t know if it can be possible, being a mum it’s a full time job without break.
I should now say that I am a lucky full time mum.
What about the rest of the post regarding how we spend time? Because we do have time.
Yes, it’s fair, I would like to have enough time to do something for me, or to do something with my partner. After dinner if Filippo brings Andrea to sleep, most of the times he fall asleep together with him, I don’t complain, he goes out very early in the morning. Even when we don’t fall asleep, we don’t relax like watching a film, we have always something to decide or plan or buy or pay.
For the next year I have to remind myself to enjoy and be thankful of every single moment I spend with my family and do the best to use it, without being connected 24/7… And at least one evening per month I deserve two hours totally for me.
We are alone here in the UK, without any support, grandparents live in Italy and except for some weekends are far from us. However I can say and I am thankful for that, I have rediscovered a sense of female solidarity that I have never found in my country. I can count on some real good friends here, a group of mums, some English and some expat like me, I trust them and I know I can count on them.
I would like to restart running, yes I can, I want, I will do. Last week when I drop off Andrea at the nursery I saw a mum that was leaving the nursery with a jogging suit, she was going to work by running! I thought that’s amazing, what a great woman. A real source of inspiration. For the upcoming year, I want to meet and find a lot of inspiring people like that mum.
So, at the end, I am thankful for this blog. This blog is my breath of fresh air, I am restarting to build a new me, a “womum”.
I only have to learn to Be thankful for all I have. Everyday.
Thanks for reading. I am waiting for you again here once in a while.