Becoming a second time mum is to follow your heart first

Becoming a second time mum is to follow your heart first

Being a mother is a a totally new beginning, becoming a second time mum and after a while, it is like… adolescence, when you follow your heart first.

As variables grow, complications and organization are more and more necessary. You can not afford to waste time, when you go shopping you have to be prepared and focused. Some notes to not forget anything! As you didn’t sleep the night before, as usual but you need to be present with two very active children!

Lately I can not find the time to write anymore. And I miss it. This small, tiny space is my vent. My happy island, my corner of freedom.

But I missed to write on my blog so here I am again with this melting-pot-post.

Leonardo arrived when Andrea started the terrible twos, and the early days were not easy at all. Having to manage his jealousy, while he wasn’t able to express his feelings to us.

If you are a parent you know the meaning of these words. The terrible twos are a growth phase for children between 18 and 36 months.

Leo was six months old last week and we are still fighting colic but nights are getting better. I have started to give him the bottle as last feed before sleep in the evening and it seems it is working, as he can sleep from 7.30 pm till 1.30-2.00 in the morning which I think is very good.  The gluten free and diary free diet didn’t work at all… At least I tried.

Last night I was thinking of how can be totally different being a second time mum. Surprisingly I am doing things with my second baby that I haven’t done with my eldest before and I am enjoying that so much. I am guessing that it is probably due to the fact that I know what to expect for, I am more relaxed and I am enjoying every single moment  with him. I know that this phase won’t last and it will be probably the last one for me as well.

When I was expecting Leo I was pretty much concerned about how Andrea would have reacted to his brother, how I would have been able to manage my routine with two kids and whatever I would have loved him as much as I loved my eldest (it was for me impossible).

But I have never thought that I would have enjoyed him and these first months so much. I mean, I am tired and overwhelmed by things to do, nights are always interrupted by Leonardo’ wakings, that it is far from being restful… But I know that this period won’t be forever and even I am craving to sleep an entire night long, I am sure I am missing those quiet  moments in the night, me and Leo, the long speeches between us, in the silence of home. 

 

second-time-mum

With my first baby I followed to the letter a lot of manuals. I was insicure so I read a lot and I didn’t follow my instinct.  Being a mum is a day-by-day learning, there is no manual that works for everyone in the same way. Andrea was a good sleeper since he was three months old, so he was able to sleep all night long in his cot in his own room. Anyway I didn’t co-sleep, even in the nights he woke up, I stayed awake too and then put him in his cot again. Everyone warned me about the fact that co-sleeping would have created a bad habit and that we’d have never went back from this. I followed the rules but I was lucky too.

With Leo I am little bit less iron mum and I did co-sleep and I am not watching time every moments I breastfeed him to check if three hours have been already gone. 

I follow my instinct. I follow my heart.

I am doing the same with the terrible weaning step. It was a three months long war with Andrea because he was not ready at all, but everybody pushed me to keep on going, because at six months YOU HAVE TO start weaning, otherwise he won’t eat soon. All nonsense things. With Leo I am following his timing, he is not ready anymore and I am waiting that he will be.

You may be interested to read

At which age is it better to start weaning? Your baby will tell you when. Suggestions of a mum with her second son.

I take it easy, there is no need to start something because it is said to do that. Luckily I don’t have to go back to work immediately and I can manage this easily while breastfeeding. And even though I had to go back to work, whatever he weren’t ready, I wouldn’t have started anyway. My milk is enough. And it is suggested to breastfeed till the first year of age because it is sufficient.

So what I am feeling to suggest if you are riding this post and you are a first-time-mum is that it’s better to follow your heart than reading books or listening to other people that have always the good answer…

With love

Francesca

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3 Comments

  1. March 18, 2017 / 08:02

    Love this post! You know when you’re baby is ready! My little on is weaning early but I know it’s right for her. Nice post! X

    • March 22, 2017 / 10:48

      Oh thanks so much! Girls are usually smarter to approach weaning, isn’t it? Thanks for stopping by and sharing

      • March 22, 2017 / 15:34

        Oh I’m not sure but she’s picking it up well! Now worries x

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